You got everything?

Does anyone else out there…

Have this?

This is called a keloid. It’s a little piece of shit. It’s a scar that puffs up into a big red blob. It’s awesome.

Every time I get a scar, it turns into this, so I cannot have surgery, piercings, tattoos, or anything fun. These are the biggest ones I have, right in the middle of my chest; they are also all over my back. Very distracting. But the people that ask about them don’t really know…

I make jokes, say that they are extra nipples, or that I survived a shark attack. But I am in constant pain. Like I’m being stabbed in the chest. I sometimes have to scream from the sharp pain that comes out of nowhere. And this little description does not do the pain justice. 

Nothing has worked; I’ve tried lasers, with no results. I’ve had injections, which is the most painful thing I have ever felt, and I can’t get radiation because they are right over my heart and tits. My last hope is chemo, which doctors have told me won’t help. If I get surgery to open them and take all the crap out, it would make them worse.

So, my question is, can anyone help me? I know I’m not the only person out there who has something like this, and there has to be a way to get rid of them. This is hell. And I have to end this with a stupid question mark to let people answer.

?

moo-ta asked: i searched garden state on tumblr and i found your post. i know how you feel. i have never put up a single poster on a wall due to the fact that my parents say it'll look disgusting with holes. my room was all white and barely did my parents paint it some pink/purple shade that they liked. my bed sheets were black and this is my first room to myself. the only thing i decorate is my mirror, literally.

Thank god, someone to relate to. I don’t even have a mirror.

My room

My room is the most boring thing you will ever see. The walls are beige. My bed is beige. It does not look like a teenage girl’s room. Most teenage girls paint their walls something fun, like, oh I don’t know, blue. No girl in their right mind would want to paint their room beige. But something that is even more shitty, is that I can’t put up any damn posters. I have one poster in my room, of The Beatles. And it’s in a frame. I  have had posters in my closet for years, that I’m not allowed to put up, because I would ruin the walls. My room is embarrassingly dull. 

These are all rules made by my mother, who is a super liberal. She is all about being original, doing what you want in this world, shit like that. But when it comes to my room, she turns into a super conservative psycho, wanting to kill anything that might help me express myself that’s in her house. Being just a bit of a hypocrite.

BUT! What’s even MORE shitty is my sister. This bitch has ruined the house more than a poster would ever do. She has punched holes in the wall, broken windows with her head, thrown a glass bowl, that we’ve had for a super long time. And what happens then? Nothing. My mother just lets this bitch throw her tantrums and break shit. And more, she has posters covering every inch of her walls. I forgot that her walls were white. And still, no one does anything about it. Her bed is red. Most people would thing she’s the youngest, and that’s why she gets whatever she wants. Nope, I’M the youngest, she’s the middle child, and she’s 19. The bitch is always telling me that I get whatever I want, that is bullshit. You punch a hole in the wall, beat up my mom a little bit, and you get to do what you want to do. 

Don’t make me hurt you, Bree.

Love, Nicole.

One day, I want there to be giffs made about me.

I don’t understand….

This isn’t me bragging about anything, but I have some goddamn good pictures on facebook. I’m not a photogenic person, but every once in a while I’ll take a damn good picture, and I’m going to put it up on my facebook, like a normal person, which is why I have very few pictures of me; I mostly have pictures of vacations I’ve gone on or whatever. 

So why the fuck is it, that when I put up a fantastic picture of me, I get about 3 comments, but when some bitch puts up a picture of herself in a mirror, leaning over with her head all tilted to the side, smiling like it hurts, and doing the same fucking thing she does in every picture, just with different clothes, she gets about 33 comments in 2 hours?? And every comment says, “omg grl ur so grgus!!!!=))” What the actual fuck? And the captions. Some say shit like, “Im so ugly, lol haha, keep?” While others are fucking song lyrics, that have nothing to do with the goddamn picture! Are you trying to be fucking deep and fucking edgy? Because you’re not. You’re just like every other dumbass girl out there, taking the same goddamn picture, and getting way to much attention for it. stfu. I’m over here like:

Two Nights Ago…

Everything that happened was a mistake. It was a bad idea, and now I have to decide what to do. I know the right choice and the wrong choice. This was never going to last forever, and I was certain I would get over it. But now, the thought of you alone and sad makes me upset. The thought of you with someone else makes me want to scream, and my life without you in it right now is almost unbearable. I just want to be happy, but I don’t know what will make me happy. I need some help, some advice.

9 Months…

9 months ago, I was happy.

9 months ago, I didn’t need you. I didn’t need anyone like you. I didn’t want someone like you.

I didn’t believe in love, I was happy being single.

Then you came. And you broke me. You fed me 9 months of “I love you”s, “I need you”s. And I believed it, and took it in, and gave it right back. I gave myself to you, in every way. And after 9 months of this, you threw it back in my face. Through a text message. Now, I am in pain, so you don’t get to talk about how you’re hurting. You don’t get to post statuses in Italian, trying to connect with me again, about how sad you are. You told me you were sure, I said I would never come back. You hurt me, not the other way around. It is hard to come into work every day and see you there, it’s hard for me not to talk to you, not to make eye contact with you. I don’t care about how much you regret this. You made your choice. You don’t get me back. Let me move on from your sorry ass.

P.S. I’m aware this is worded strangely and out of order, but I just sort of wrote, so sorry. Also, I have no idea what to tag, so any of my followers out there, help me out!

Actual Conversation with my Dog…

Me: Sherlock, my life is a ball of failure.

Sherlock: 

Me: (Turns to Jenna Marbles voice) Except for you Sherlock. You’re a ball of fluff!

Hey, “Actor”

You were cast as a LEAD ROLE. No, THE LEAD ROLE! 

You should try acting for once.

Especially since that role was made for me.